top of page
Search
  • Writer's picturePslam

State of The Union - November 6th 2018

Updated: May 21, 2020



To all our dedicated readers, I know you can’t subsist yourselves simply off my NFL picks (even though theyre buzzzzzing). And since Tyrrell and pants have developed spontaneous illiteracy, I take it upon myself to provide quality content for this website. STATE OF THE UNION will be a weekly coverage of the best team in the NHL, looking back at the prior weeks games, and highlighting what is to come.


P.S That photoshop took me 2 hours to make, and i gotta say Tavares looks alot like Paul Ryan.


Overall record (9-5-0) – Last week 1-2-0


The state of the union is…. Tumultuous.


This team is an enigma. After a scorching hot start the Maple Leafs have fallen back to earth, in a rather surprising fashion. Coming into last week they were 8-3, leading the Atlantic division and were boasting an impressive GPG. This success came despite two consecutive home losses at against Pittsburgh and St. Louis. These games looked like a sequel to Weekend at Bernie’s where the Leafs were lifeless corpses being strung up and down the ice, scoring just 1 goal in six periods. Two back to back wins against Laine and the Jets set the Leaf’s up at 8-3 heading into this past week of games I will review.


Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Auston Matthews suffered a stage two separation on his left shoulder which should sideline him for 4-6 weeks. This is kind of a big deal for Toronto; your star center who was on an absolute heater (10G, 6A, 11GP) is now out, and has suffered his third major injury in the last two years. You can’t help but feel bad for the guy, this is a total freak injury on a clean hit from Trouba. It was this past week set the stage of how the Leafs would deal with this adversity. The trouble at home, the Auston Matthews injury; would they step up, or capitulate. The answer is, well, not clear.


The Leafs opened last week with a chance to prove they didn’t need Auston Matthew’s to win games, and boy did that not go well. They got absolutely rinsed by Calgary. I mean this was probably the worst game of the season. They were out worked, out skated, and out shot all game long, turned over the puck TWENTY SIX TIMES (that’s almost once every two minutes for you mathematicians out there). The 3-1 box score did not do this justice, and if Freddy wasn’t playing the way he was this game could have been A LOT uglier. Tavares looked invisible, we were over analyzing shot paths, and the stretch passes were just not working. To make matters worse the goal horn guy got horny and decided to tease us on a Zach Hyman goal that never went in. We had no business winning that game anyways.


Toronto's home woes continued Thursday night against a Dallas team which they beat by 7 just a few weeks earlier. However, this game felt different. We out played Dallas for what felt like the entire 60 minutes, out shooting them 31-18, but it just wasn’t enough. To put it simply, the Leafs were snakebitten this game, and throughout an 82 games, some will be stolen by the opposing goalie. There is an interesting stat that I would like to put forward here. The Leafs have entered the third period with a doughnut for five consecutive games at home. That is insane. Five straight games at home and you can’t score until the third period. This building is haunted, I want the ACC back.


Proof that Scotiabank arena is haunted: Saturday November 3rd 7:00pm-9:38pm, an incident occurred in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Jekel and Hyde strikes again. Parros and the DPOS are looking into suspending the entire Maple Leafs roster for murder on ice. "STOP THE FIGHT, STOP THE FIGHT! THEY’RE DEAD!" Fans shouted from the rafters. The Leafs did not listen, nor care. Toronto played their best game of the year, smoking Sidney Crosby and the Penguins 5-0. Morgan Reilly quietly continues his Norris bid, now sitting T-8 in the league in points with 18 (most by a defenseman). Freddy tosses a 31 save no-no, raising his SV% to .924, and lowering his G.A.A to 2.28. Tavares, Marner and other big names looked alive, just picking the penguins apart like vultures. Again, this proves that the bank is haunted. We got shut out by the Pens at home just two weeks prior with Matthews playing


CHA-CHING 4-0


What to look forward to: Toronto has three games this week. Vegas tonight, Tuesday, at home. Hopefully they hire an exorcist and get the ghost of Harold Ballard out of this arena. (I can only assume its him causing this mess.) Following Vegas, Toronto faces a back to back against the Devils and Bruins Friday and Saturday respectively. The Devils are at home, and I honestly think we should win that game. Then is the scary part, you thought Scotiabank arena was haunted, how about TD Garden in Boston. Holy shit that arena gives me nightmares. People think the haunting of hill house is scary??? I wake up in full sleep paralysis, cold sweats and see my version of the bent neck lady: Patrice Bergeron scoring the game 7 OT winner, simultaneously throwing his Selke trophies in my face.




Seriously, we should win this game, backup or not. The Bruins have only scored 4 goals in regulation in their last 4 games, and as mentioned the Leafs are a wagon on the road. 6-0-0 and dominating in almost all of those wins. LETS GET THIS BREAD.




171 views3 comments

3件のコメント


Ryan Hunt
Ryan Hunt
2018年11月07日

How do I change my username so I can chirp anonymously

いいね!

Ryan Hunt
Ryan Hunt
2018年11月07日

Garbage

いいね!

Pants
Pants
2018年11月07日

I am literate.

いいね!
CR ICON RED.png
bottom of page