Updated: Mar 28, 2021
LAST WEEK 11-2 (not bad boice)
There are some very good games this week between power houses. I’ll be breaking it downnnnn.
**The picks in these blogs seen under the paragraph are OUTRIGHT money line picks. I give some advice on spreads that I'll likely take myself, but the picks are outright winners.
PITTSBURGH @ BALTIMORE (-2.5) – Pittsburgh has it figured out. The offense is dialed in, the defense is buzzing. This won’t be an easy game for Pittsburgh, playing in Baltimore never is. I see Pittsburgh winning by a score on a final drive, in typical fashion. This is when Big Ben emasculates that trash city of Baltimore one more time (with a broken finger) and Pittsburgh cements themselves as AFC north alpha males.
MY PICK: PITTSBURGH
CHICAGO (-10) @ BUFFALO – Nathan Peterman is starting vs. the Chicago defense. This is not going to be pretty for Buffalo. A gutsy defensive performance was wasted against bills mafia’s daddy Tom Brady last week, bringing bills fans BAC to an all time high. -10 is a good line for Chicago, one I would probably take.
MY PICK: CHICAGO
TAMPA BAY @ CAROLINA (-6.5) – Fitzmagic is back in action ladies and gentleman, and hes about to pull another rabbit out of his ass. Cam newton is going to tear through Tampa’s defense, and Chris Conte is going to probably get humiliated once again, but Tampa Bay will steal this game. Also, bet the over.
MY PICK: TAMPA BAY
KANSAS CITY (-9.0) @ CLEVELAND – A collective sigh of relief comes from browns fans everywhere as village idiot Hue Jackson and village alcoholic Todd Haley got hit by the door on their way out. They didn’t just get hit by the door, they got CTE from it. This is Baker Mayfields time to shine. That being said they’re going to get absolutely murdered by the Chiefs this week.
MY PICK: KANSAS CITY
NEW YORK JETS @ MIAMI (-2.5) – Who cares, the AFC east race is dead. These are two garbage teams who steal wins in the stupidest of ways.
MY PICK: MIAMI
DETROIT @ MINNESOTA (-5.5) – I said it last week and I’ll say it again. If Detroit decides to actually use their running back they have a good chance at winning. They had 34 rushing yards last week, and Kerryon Johnson only had 8 carries. When the running game works, they win, but for some reason they don’t want to use it. Dalvin Cook and Diggs are both questionable (looks like Diggs won’t play). I’m picking Detroit here, and im going to lose my mind if they don’t run the ball again.
MY PICK: DETROIT
ATLANTA @ WASHINGTON (-1.5) – The Washington redskins are an enigma. Every week I think they're going to lose, and I keep saying they’re frauds. But somehow they keep winning. Adrian Peterson looks like hes going to the same doctor as Tiger Woods, or he found the fountain of youth or something, I don’t know. The falcons are also an enigma, they might be the best 3-4 team in NFL history, but for some reason Julio Jones can’t score a touchdown. 812 yards, no TD. That’s going to change this week, he’s going to expose Josh Norman as a FRAUD and Matty Ice is going to win this game. But they could also end up losing I guess; these teams don’t make sense.
MY PICK: ATLANTA
HOUSTON @ DENVER (-1.0) – This is going to be a tough pick, Denver’s defense always plays well at home, and although they sit at 3-5 they aren’t an easy team to play (see vs. Chiefs last week.) Houston played its best game of the year last week, led by a dominating performance from Deshaun Watson (239 yards, 5TD, 0 INT), reverting back to his 2017 form. There is a black lining to this silver cloud (don’t think that’s a saying but whatever): Will Fuller tore his ACL. I love will fuller, him and Watson have some special chemistry, and he’s gone for the season. Now a silver lining to the black lining on the silver cloud: recently acquired Demaryius Thomas fill this void. Watson now has two of the most physically dominant receivers in the league. Thomas is going to snap against his old team that just traded him for a 4th rd. pick. Houston wins in a nail biter.
MY PICK: HOUSTON
LA CHARGERS (-1.0) @ SEATTLE – Seattle sucks. Philip rivers does not. Chargers win
MY PICK: LA CHARGERS
LA RAMS (-2.0) @ NEW ORLEANS – Drew Brees is having another career year. Can you even call it a “career year” at this point? The guy is just dominant. The LA Rams are the epitome of run and gun, and aren’t looking to stop soon. Cooper Kupp is coming back from injury and all the weapons are there, all the Rams have to do is execute. I’m picking this game with my heart (which might fail me soon, but that’s an entirely different issue) instead of my mind. DREW BREES, in the SUPERDOME, throws for 500 and 5TDs. They beat Katrina, they can beat the rams. BET THE OVER 57.5
MY PICK: NEW ORLEANS
GREEN BAY @ NEW ENGLAND (-5.0) – Two of the best quarterbacks in NFL history face off in an epic Sunday night showdown. Brady is coming off a somewhat scary win in Buffalo but I expect him to come out slinging. Green bay is no joke, and should have beat the Rams last week if it wasn’t for Ty Montgomery being a selfish asshole. I mean you got Aaron Rodgers and time on the clock you let him do his fucking thing, you don’t run the ball out. This is going to be close, and it’s hard to come into Gillette and win games, but Aaron Rodgers is probably the only quarterback in the league that I could see doing this. He thrives in games like this, he loves the spotlight and he’s going to win this game.
MY PICK: GREEN BAY
PROP BETS OF THE WEEK
1) Nathan Peterman over 2.5 interceptions – Nathan Peterman is not a good quarterback. Rumour has it the guy dips his hands in grease before he gets on the field. The Chicago defence will eat him.
2) Total Receiving Touchdowns Week 9 - Demaryius Thomas over 0.5 – Demaryius is going to secure the bag against his old team. Anyways, yeah I think he’s going to score.